And, stop.

What a week.

Monday, I find out that something isn't resolved that I was told was fixed last week. I will not detail this on the blog; however, things change March 1st, no matter how much I've tried to actively fix the situation. No apocalypse or anything, but it will definitely prove to be interesting over the next few months.

On a somewhat bittersweet note, my roommate, Mike, gave his 60 days notice. The only bitter part of that is that I lose part of the money coming in each month. The sweet part is, well, he is a dick and I won't have to deal with him --- Jen & I will welcome the change! Postings on Craigslist and Roommates.com should prove for some interesting showings ...

So the week continued with a flat tire the same day I realized my registration was expired. Figuring it was no big deal, I took it to the shop. $420 later (and that was with a significant discount from the dealer since my Dad knows him!), I found out I needed new brakes and rotors as well. Wonderful.

Thinking I'd be in the clear for at least the rest of the week, that somehow the world would let me off the hook for the rest of the week. But no. No, to the tune of $4000 fraud charges on my credit card. Seriously? (Not to mention, I found out my old gym was still charging me every month ... despite the fact that I canceled it on 12/31/08.)

Ok, so you know what I say? Bring it on. I've taken it all. I'm still standing. I'm not sleeping well - per usual - but I'm still here and still truckin.

Jamie and this koala are the things that made me smile this week!

(His name is Sam, he was rescued from Brush fires in Victoria!)

PS - I love you, Tree!

looking for the silver lining ...

There's no fire like passion, no seizure like anger,

no snare like delusion, no river like craving.
Dhammapada

"Sometimes when the negative feelings come out of you, it's good. It's a sign of you purging it."
Sometimes you need to hear the right thing - at the right time.

It is horrible to fear the place you once loved.

It is horrible to fear the place you once loved. To see a streetcorner you knew so well and be afraid of it's shadow. To see familiar steps and be unable to climb them. I never understood how people lived in fear. Women afraid to walk home alone. People afraid of white powder in their mailbox. Darkness and night. People afraid of people. I always believed that fear belonged to other people. Weaker people. It never touched me. And then it did. And when it touches you, you know ... it's been there all along ... waiting beneath the surfaces of everything you loved. And your skin crawls, and your heart sickens, and you look at the person you once were walking down that street .. and you wonder will you ever be her again?

Funk.

Not the smell, nor the taste.
Feel that silent rage that doesn't boil?
Frustration on a backburner with no place to go.

Biting back tears, fearing you're own anger -
Circling a fanciful dream with no hope.
Feeling a hole in your chest that tightens for nothing

Judged against standards I'll never want
Feeling the pressure for things I don't need
Wanting the things I cannot ask for.

The only way out is my own mind -
the same trap that keeps me here.

keeping with the vibe of a past blog

Back to my thing about respect - I only hate it because it seems as though people are just too inconsiderate to move.