Your Yucky Body

After seeing the latest wave of weight-loss propaganda hitting the airwaves and new stands, I'm a little fed up and ready to respond. Not that the media is actively seeking out my thoughts, but as a person that has been on both ends of the spectrum -- struggling with both keeping my weight down, and trying to stop losing weight -- I can give insight that may save you money, time and frustration.

First off, EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS DIFFERENT. There is no diet that will definitely work for you and your friends, and your family members equally. A family member and I went to Weight Watchers with dissimilar results. I started going to the gym with a friend and stayed long after she left. Many times, the reason a diet works is simple: you f-o-l-l-o-w IT.

He may be a douche, but I agree with him on this one:

Feed your emotional problems emotionally,
not nutritionally. ~Dr Phil

Newsflash: Women and men are different, and not just by what is (or isn't) dangling between their legs! To can a popular phrase, "women eat emotionally" - men do not. You can stop this and it is fairly simply ... and hard as hell at the same time. It's all about will-power. Do not put food in your mouth without intention. If you are not eating for fuel, or on a permitted/scheduled cheat - STOP! Once you get used to a purposeful change in your eating habits, you will not find yourself as apt to 'cheat' or eat for no reason.

You cannot be a mannequin. Stop fucking trying.

WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN (and men, if you're guilty): Stop comparing yourself to everyone's best. Just stop. Mannequin's have perfect measurements - people do not. Stop internalizing the stereotypes in magazines, STUPID magazine-shows, re-ala-faux shows, and models. (For all that is holy, a model is stationary, hollow, and lifeless. Is that your goal?) You can only do what you can do. You can only be what you can be. If you want to nip or tuck, thats a personal thing - but don't do it because you need Angelina's lips or JLo's butt. Work with what you got and improve upon yourself.

EAT. I have never lost weight by starving. When I tried to work out hard and do Weight Watchers, it didn't mesh. I was either starving (and pissy) or trying to balance out some impossible 'points' sequence that never came to fruition correctly. I ended up getting a nutritionist and combining my WW lessons (portion control, picking the right foods, fiber) with more protein and MORE meals. Even now, while not quite on my game, I still inevitably end up picking a meal based around protein content, and treat meals as fuel. I am in tune with hunger and how to feed it correctly. I'm not abolishing the idea of pleasure in eating (or pleasure eating!) - just not every at meal.

Moving on. Even at my weakest, I walked. You have two legs - use them. Music is an excellent motivator if you're not feeling it. As a person with great reasons to skip work outs (note: reasons, not excuses) - if you are healthy, and able, and UNwilling, it's your fault. Get off your ass.

A few parting words ...

If you are OCD, don't weigh yourself incessantly. If you are going to focus on the number, take measurements as a marker. Sometimes the number on the scale is going to lie to you - building muscle, holding water, times that you weigh yourself, etc. Don't abandon the scale altogether, but don't jump on it every single day.


Don't give out free unsolicited weight-loss advice to everyone that pays you a compliment. It's obnoxious and it's somewhat presumptuous. Also, don't assume when someone asks you, "What's your secret?" that they really want to know either ... 9 times outta 10, they just want you to tell them there is a magic bean/drink/answer. Send them in the right direction, but don't waste a lot of your time on it. If they are just a wishful thinker, no harm, no foul. If they are genuinely interested, they'll come back. I realize that posting this blog seems to go against the grain, but c'est la vie! I'm not cornering anyone, and I'm not on any soapboxes.

For those that read this far, you're a trooper! Feel free to comment.