While taking stock of all the things that have transpired in the last year or so, I find my greatest joys have been in the company of others - some even in the face of misfortune. As each year has passed, I've craved certain people in my life more than things, coveting the connection more than a collection of material items. The last year has come with its own set of heartbreaking choices and a new feeling of 'independence' -- that has never felt quite as isolating as it does now.
Remember in the film Vanilla Sky when Brian, (played by Jason Lee) warns David (Tom Cruise): "the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know the sour." I know that I felt sweet last year, but I definitely felt it's slow and painful removal over the last few months. Was the sweet taken away to once again balance out the sweet-sour scale? I guess time will tell. If this is the case, I suppose I'll just have to be patient for the sweet to come back around.
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I just got through celebrating my sister's birthday with her kids and our parents. The first time we (my sister and I) have celebrated her birthday together in 20+ years. The sweet felt sweet, and the connection felt better than it had in years.
That's actually nice to hear. It's always the connection to other people that will stay with you.
Kinda looks like they are playing chess with half filled glasses and salt shakers.
Or that they are sitting at a bar? LOL
They're not even using a chessboard. Morons.
Your greatest joys being in the company of others is completely logical and understandable. The fact that you lack those joys now is not logical. Happiness is something one must strive and actively work towards. To allow your life to be sour almost means you want it to be that way.
Feelings are not always logical. Nor is life. You can make as much sense of it as you like, and sit back and make your judgments from your anonymous soapbox, but to say that someone chooses to feel that way is ridiculous. I'll agree that some people are like that; however, I am not one of them.
Not a soapbox, just wanted to mention that. I don't know you, so I am sorry that me saying that offended you. We both agree that other people are like that, though. Sorry to assume that you were one of those people. Feelings are not logical, though actions are. And actions can directly change feelings. There have been experiments showing that simply smiling can affect your mood positively.
I'll preface this by saying: I'm an American. American society ascribes to the notion that you should walk around happy all the time - and that's just plain stupid. To paste a smile on your face all the time when you are not happy is just as detrimental as going around depressed 24/7.
Yes, you can take action to change your feelings - but they are not immediate, nor should they be. And my reasons (undisclosed in the blog and in these comments) are not something I should just 'get over' or pretend aren't real. I'm not saying there is nothing in my life I'm not happy about, I'm just saying that it's out of whack at the moment - and much of it's outside of my realm to change right now.
It's funny how people fail to recognize that their own immediate state of mind changes how they read this blog entry. I've had many read it as positive, and just as many read it as negative. Perhaps your assumption that I'm not taking action is just your projection of your own inner desire to fix yourself?
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