Your Yucky Body

After seeing the latest wave of weight-loss propaganda hitting the airwaves and new stands, I'm a little fed up and ready to respond. Not that the media is actively seeking out my thoughts, but as a person that has been on both ends of the spectrum -- struggling with both keeping my weight down, and trying to stop losing weight -- I can give insight that may save you money, time and frustration.

First off, EVERY SINGLE PERSON IS DIFFERENT. There is no diet that will definitely work for you and your friends, and your family members equally. A family member and I went to Weight Watchers with dissimilar results. I started going to the gym with a friend and stayed long after she left. Many times, the reason a diet works is simple: you f-o-l-l-o-w IT.

He may be a douche, but I agree with him on this one:

Feed your emotional problems emotionally,
not nutritionally. ~Dr Phil

Newsflash: Women and men are different, and not just by what is (or isn't) dangling between their legs! To can a popular phrase, "women eat emotionally" - men do not. You can stop this and it is fairly simply ... and hard as hell at the same time. It's all about will-power. Do not put food in your mouth without intention. If you are not eating for fuel, or on a permitted/scheduled cheat - STOP! Once you get used to a purposeful change in your eating habits, you will not find yourself as apt to 'cheat' or eat for no reason.

You cannot be a mannequin. Stop fucking trying.

WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN (and men, if you're guilty): Stop comparing yourself to everyone's best. Just stop. Mannequin's have perfect measurements - people do not. Stop internalizing the stereotypes in magazines, STUPID magazine-shows, re-ala-faux shows, and models. (For all that is holy, a model is stationary, hollow, and lifeless. Is that your goal?) You can only do what you can do. You can only be what you can be. If you want to nip or tuck, thats a personal thing - but don't do it because you need Angelina's lips or JLo's butt. Work with what you got and improve upon yourself.

EAT. I have never lost weight by starving. When I tried to work out hard and do Weight Watchers, it didn't mesh. I was either starving (and pissy) or trying to balance out some impossible 'points' sequence that never came to fruition correctly. I ended up getting a nutritionist and combining my WW lessons (portion control, picking the right foods, fiber) with more protein and MORE meals. Even now, while not quite on my game, I still inevitably end up picking a meal based around protein content, and treat meals as fuel. I am in tune with hunger and how to feed it correctly. I'm not abolishing the idea of pleasure in eating (or pleasure eating!) - just not every at meal.

Moving on. Even at my weakest, I walked. You have two legs - use them. Music is an excellent motivator if you're not feeling it. As a person with great reasons to skip work outs (note: reasons, not excuses) - if you are healthy, and able, and UNwilling, it's your fault. Get off your ass.

A few parting words ...

If you are OCD, don't weigh yourself incessantly. If you are going to focus on the number, take measurements as a marker. Sometimes the number on the scale is going to lie to you - building muscle, holding water, times that you weigh yourself, etc. Don't abandon the scale altogether, but don't jump on it every single day.


Don't give out free unsolicited weight-loss advice to everyone that pays you a compliment. It's obnoxious and it's somewhat presumptuous. Also, don't assume when someone asks you, "What's your secret?" that they really want to know either ... 9 times outta 10, they just want you to tell them there is a magic bean/drink/answer. Send them in the right direction, but don't waste a lot of your time on it. If they are just a wishful thinker, no harm, no foul. If they are genuinely interested, they'll come back. I realize that posting this blog seems to go against the grain, but c'est la vie! I'm not cornering anyone, and I'm not on any soapboxes.

For those that read this far, you're a trooper! Feel free to comment.

Love your Body in Africa!

So apparently if you want acceptance for your curves and faults, all you need to do is move to northwest Africa! I happened to be up late and caught the end of Oprah's show on "Beauty Around the World" where they interviewed Houda, a woman who grew up in Mauritania. Her father is a doctor who sees the negative effects of the country's big idea of beauty.

"My father deals every day with women with serious, serious health issues such as high blood pressure," she says. Even though the problems associated with obesity, like high blood pressure, heart disease and diabetes are prevalent, Houda says that doesn't deter women from wanting a big body. "When you're skinny, you're even considered as sick or there's something wrong with you," she says. "Women that are fat, they're really happy."

Thick ankles, plump arms and a big butt are considered the most beautiful parts of a woman, Houda says. And don't worry if you have a few stretch marks—the men in Mauritania love 'em!

Not only are extra pounds considered sexy—Houda says being divorced will win you extra points with the men too! "In Mauritania, you just get divorced and there's a feast, a party—and the more you get divorced, the more you're seductive," Houda says. "That means that a lot of men want to be with you."

"So if you are divorced with stretch marks and a big butt, Mauritania is calling your name!" Oprah jokes. Not only that, at the very end of the show -- a man from that country stood up and said he was losing weight before he returned to the country because the women are supposed to be thick, and men are supposed to be "skinny."

Hmmm. Weird.

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And just cause I know Mer reads this - there was a bit on the French ... though no surprise to most of us Americans, they are very rigid on their view of Beauty:

Paris, the City of Lovers, knows a thing or two about sexiness. And for Parisians, slender is sexy. Stephanie grew up in St. Pierre and Miquelon, a French island off the coast of Canada and now lives in Paris. "I've fortunately lost a bit of weight recently, but I used to have a hard time finding clothing in Paris stores because they go up to size 12," she says.

Stephanie says the goal of most Parisian women is to look effortlessly chic. "For French women, being beautiful is all about being elegant but in a natural, very subtle way." But how do French women get this je nais se quoi? "French women don't like to admit it, but, in fact, they spend a lot of time and money on beauty products for every part of their body," Stephanie says.

Once the body is perfectly moisturized and the complexion is flawless, Stephanie says the next step to sexiness is lingerie. "It's all about feeling good from the inside," she says.

In France, Stephanie says women look forward to getting older—turning 60 is sexy! At the same time, Stephanie says women keep up appearances and stay slim, trim and well groomed as they age. "French women feel entitled to be sexy and desirable all along their lives," she says. "It's a lot of work, but they feel entitled to it."