Man Killed in Gym Fight Over Exercise Equipment

No, I'm not joking.

An altercation over an exercise machine turned deadly an East Flatbush gym Saturday.

Douglas Smith was jumped by two thugs wielding a knife and hammer after an argument over who claimed "first dibs" on a Nautilus machine. The 50-year-old social worker quarreled with another gym member, who in turn called the alleged killers.

The New York Daily News reports,

Witnesses said Smith was exercising on the elliptical machine when the duo ambushed him from behind, stabbing him three times in the back and walloping him in the head with a hammer.

One of the alleged killers, Shawn Hing, was arrested Sunday night and charged with second-degree murder. The other alleged killer and the gym member are still at large.

And you thought exercising was a safe anger outlet?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/15/douglas-smith-social-work_n_392505.html

Ok & Not Ok

You become what you think about.
Earl Nightingale

The distance between being 'ok' and 'not ok' is a straight line;
and, it's all in your head.

To find. To connect. To hold on.

We are all connected. Joined together by an invisible thread, infinite in its potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected, we are also merely individuals. Empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities. An assortment of thoughts, beliefs. A collection of disjointed memories and experiences. Can I be me without this? Can you be you? And if this invisible thread that holds us together were to sever, to cease, what then? What would become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? Therein lies the great quest of our lives. To find. To connect. To hold on. For when our hearts are pure, and our thoughts in line, we are all truly one. Capable of repairing our fragile world, and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.
~Heroes

The Fabulous Destiny of Amelie Poulain

A rich and mesmerizing film, Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain ("The Fabulous Destiny of Amelie Poulain") was worthy of all it's praise, and more. It's hard to believe that the role that catapulted French actress Audrey Tautou to international fame was not actually written for her (it was written specifically for Emily Watson, an American actress who didn't speak French) - Tautou seamlessly convinced me that she WAS Amelie.

***May Contain Spoilers***

Amelie is a shy waitress that embarks on an ambitious journey to change the lives of those around her with random acts of kindness. Some are devious, some are simple, some are whimsically silly and fun. All the while, she struggles with her own isolation from those around her. None present this to her more than her reclusive neighbor, Raymond, a painter who suffers from a brittle bone condition. His painting become reflections of her isolation, forcing Amelie to consider working on her own life and not just meddle in others lives (with good intentions).

*** End Spoilers ***

The rich colors almost make you feel as if you were watching a cartoon; yet, you are very much watching live interaction between Amelie and her surroundings. Director Jean-Pierre Jeunet, who originally started collecting the stories and memories as far back as 1974, (wonderfully) introduces characters with their idiosyncasies and simple pleasures. The Two Windmills is not only staffed, but patronized by a gang of eccentrics, and is a real cafe in the city of Montmartre - the setting of the film. It's not hard to see why Amelie won best film at the European Film Awards, four César Awards (including Best Film and Best Director), two BAFTA Awards (including Best Original Screenplay), and was nominated for five Academy Awards (a feat in itself considering it was entirely in French).

I cannot say enough great things about this little gem - it has remained on my top ten since my initial viewing. A true "feel-good" film, Amelie is imaginative, beautiful, rich in color and plot; and, perhaps one of the most creative films I will ever see.

Sweet is Never as Sweet w/out the Sour

There are moments in our lives that, if rated, rank very high - and - very low. In taking stock of late, I realized that it was only in the face of the very high moments that the recent ones can even manage to dip so low on my ranking scale. And perhaps, if I were to appreciate the food, shelter and creature comforts I have ... they may not be so bad after all.

While taking stock of all the things that have transpired in the last year or so, I find my greatest joys have been in the company of others - some even in the face of misfortune. As each year has passed, I've craved certain people in my life more than things, coveting the connection more than a collection of material items. The last year has come with its own set of heartbreaking choices and a new feeling of 'independence' -- that has never felt quite as isolating as it does now.

Remember in the film Vanilla Sky when Brian, (played by Jason Lee) warns David (Tom Cruise): "the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know the sour." I know that I felt sweet last year, but I definitely felt it's slow and painful removal over the last few months. Was the sweet taken away to once again balance out the sweet-sour scale? I guess time will tell. If this is the case, I suppose I'll just have to be patient for the sweet to come back around.

Ironically, I blogged it.

"People don’t write anymore - they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English.”
Californication

How Boredom is a Choice

During a recent conversation, I made the following observation (which I've often said/thought of our current society):

"Unfortunately, the sheer volume of choices we have of things to do have made people indecisive. The indecisiveness has led to boredom -- the boredom to apathy."

I was told to "save that, it's brilliant." Brilliant, perhaps. Sad, a little. The first time this sentiment planted it's roots was in 2002, when I stumbled upon the last few episodes of "Frontier Life" on PBS. Three families were chosen (out of thousands of applicants) to travel back in time to the days of the Wild West, living as settlers on the frontier back in the 1880's. Located in a valley in a remote corner of Montana, each family took a 160-acre plot of land where they would be observed completely immersed in homestead lifestyle. From spring to early fall of 2001, they built their own homes, made their clothing, tended their lifestock, planted food, fished and hunted their land, and more -- all without modern technological assistance. One of the main goals of the show was to see if each family - through trading, surviving and preparing - would be able to survive the upcoming winter (without actually staying there for the season).

The families accounts of their time on the show varies from missing modern life, to learning self-sufficiency.

Kristen Brooks, age 28, recounts "the cabin was very small, and the daily routine was monotonous," and she suffered "from isolation and lack of socializing".

Mark Glenn, 45, says, "I don't miss phones, beepers, and having foolish conversations with foolish people. I'm a real movie buff, so I miss watching movies at home with my wife. I think I've kicked my TV addiction, but I really miss the movies. I also miss pasta and Polish kielbasa. And playing softball, which I used to play on Thursday nights in my church league."

Tracy Clune, 15, shares, "I feel more responsible and more confident. I could take care of myself if I was left alone. Before I was afraid to go out at night, and [now] it doesn't bother me at all. I have no regrets about being out here. I don't think I'll be the same person when I return. I'll be less materialistic, less into make-up and clothing, and I really want to get to know the members of my own family better. I'm not the same person, and I'm happy about that."

The reason I remember the program is because the follow-up segment showed the Clune girls (Tracy & Aine - cousins in real life), splashing around in a jacuzzi in Malibu ... bored. They looked directly at the camera and said they thought they'd missed this life until they returned to it. They found that all the things that had kept them occupied and busy on the frontier, had prevented them from being bored; and, that returning to the life of luxury -- full of choice -- had actually led them directly to boredom.

With the books, television, internet, friends, movies and MORE -- how can anyone be bored? Recognize that boredom is really only the product of a lack of creativity; and perhaps, inability to enjoy your own company. There is always something to do.

A-Team gets a New Face ... and Hannible, BA & Murdock

After tackling some very serious issues the last few blogs -- (see: the naked man) -- I decided to lighten things up by posting the picture that debuted on EOnline yesterday.

THE NEW A-TEAM

The new crack team include BA Baracus (now played by UFC fighter Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson), Faceman, (played by Hangover star Bradley Cooper), Murdock (played by South African 'District 9' actor Sharlto Copley) while Liam Neeson will be in charge as Col. John 'Hannibal' Smith. The fab four are also joined by Jessica Biel who plays an army general in hot pursuit (we're guessing she'll be a sexy army general too).

As for the story, well, this modern A-Team are now a group of hardened Iraq War veterans trying to clear their name from a crime they didn't commit. And sneaky early shots from filming in Vancouver, Canada, would suggest that this will be as action packed as the TV show with the classic GMC van being spotted in some scenes.

I am all about giving the new team a chance, though I'm not thrilled with the addition of Jessica Biel. I also agree with the EOnline quibbles that pointed out Rampage is missing quite a few gold chains (if not all), Murdock's hat is entirely too new ... and is that a Hummer as the new van? That won't do.

Here are some more shots from the set, found on various sites:

(For the boys) LOL

*PHEW*

See more here: http://www.movie-moron.com/?p=9555

"well, I call it twatting!"

The title was one of the few funny lines from "Couples Retreat" - see my review here.

The other day a friend stated:

"You may not admit it, but you can view someones life every week on facebook and hardly ever converse with them, and it is kind of nice."

I find this is the sad downside of our blossoming and ever-changing technological boom. We are constantly connected to the web - no matter where we are - through blackberries and cell phones; and, we don't even have to contact each other to be updated on our lives anymore. Where she finds it comforting to stay in touch without any actual contact, I find it lonely and disconnected.

When I'm not aware that someone had a child, is sick, lost a parent, or has changed jobs/girlfriends/locations ... I have often heard the aggravating retort: "didn't you see my status update?" Or, "didn't you read my blog?" I've had the same cell phone number for almost 10 years. My parents have had the same phone number since 1986; and, I can easily be contacted through them if you ever knew that number. I realize texting is easier, and I'm just as guilty as the next party ... but when did personal contact become replaced by indirect random free-for-all contact visible to the masses?

Sure, I am on facebook -- but to be honest, I'm there for the scrabble! I don't sit and read people's updates. If I happen to catch them on the main page when I sign in, or see a picture, so be it. I don't use it to stalk everyone else and if someone gets upset cause I didn't feel like pulling a paparazzi move on them, they need to deflate their egos and come back down to earth! When did we all become so important that our status must be known to everyone we are (or aren't) friends with at all times? Has reality tv created an ego-monster in everyone that makes them feel as though they need a 'pump' every day? Or worse, with twitter - every few hours or minutes?

At some point -- just like myspace -- facebook and twitter will die out. For those reliant on this to keep in touch, will you remember how to write or call? Or will it simply be too late for people that have forgotten friendships that haven't been tended to?

This is just for fun:

When Stupidity Hits an All-Time HIGH

Springfield, Virginia resident Eric Williamson was arrested and charged with indecent exposure yesterday for failing to put on any clothes after getting up at 5:30 am to make some coffee. A woman and her 7-year-old daughter had cut across Williamson's front yard and saw him through his kitchen window.

If convicted, Williamson could be fined $2,000 and spend a year in jail. Fairfax police say Williamson wanted to be seen naked. Which I guess means Williamson's front yard is a pretty popular spot at 5:30 in the morning.

Are you kidding me? There are so many things wrong with this story, I can't believe it's even being reported as anything but disgraceful neighbors misusing the local police department.

Here's what's wrong with this:

1. He was in his OWN HOME. Alone.
2. The woman that reported him is married to a police officer.
   
3. "cut across Williamson's front yard" They were on his property. CASE CLOSED.

Channel 5 reports the woman and 7-year-old boy who saw him naked apparently had cut through Williamson's front yard from a nearby path.

Despite this ... all reports still indicate - they were ON his property. The woman who called the police at the time of the incident was at 8:40 am, not 5:30 am as Williamson says. She also says Williamson was first standing in an open doorway, then moved in front of a window, still in her view. Given that she was apparently on his property (undisputed by both parties), and he was in his home the entire time, I'm not sure his exact position in his own home matters, unless he was otherwise in plain view of someone using the public sidewalk. Even then, it seems more like tacky behavior than behavior that should be criminal. And you'd think the guy would get a warning before you arrest him for nudity in his own house.

I mean, is this like a reverse "peeping tom"? Wait around naked and hope someone looks in? I'd say the mother and child were peeping themselves, but I'm sure that'd never fly. At what point is the government reaching into our private lives? I think it's safe to say this is the prime example.

The final straw: depending on the laws in Virginia - he could be added to the sex offended registry.

Do you Revel in the Sour?

The rain. Sometimes it gives me the blues. When you first came here, I only loved the writer part of Paul Sheldon. Now I know I love the rest of him, too. I know you don't love me, don't say you do. You're beautiful, brilliant, a famous man of the world and I'm... not a movie star type. You'll never know the fear of losing someone like you if you're someone like me.

Annie, Stephen King's Misery

The old adage "misery loves company" seems to be at play more and more. Is it just that we are more aware or just less distracted? With more layoffs, less jobs, and more and more people searching for simpler forms of happiness it could just be that we are able to see things without materialistic glasses in the way. Or, do you just not want to be alone in your suffering?

Stanley Schachter, a Columbia University psychologist, conducted a famous experiment years ago with female college students: telling them they would be receiving electric shocks. Based on feedback from the students, the more anxious they were about the shocks, the more they told researchers they wanted to wait with other people for the experiment to start. More interesting, they did not want to wait with just anyone -- they wanted to be with people who faced the same fate.

“Misery doesn’t love just any kind of company,” Schachter said, “it loves only miserable company. Whatever the needs aroused by the manipulation of anxiety, it would seem that their satisfaction demands the presence of others in a similar situation.”

Which brings me to my next point: does misery truly love company, or does misery make company equally miserable? (And in the same respect, does the inverse apply?) How many times have you been having an awful day only to have a good friend turn it around? Or had a great day only to have that 'negative Nancy' bring down your mood?

There is no true answer to these questions since they are all of a personal nature. For me, I read more, watch less dramatic movies and more comedies, write more, and avoid situations that stress me out (when possible). Another big one is spending more face-time with my friends. I'll elaborate more on that soon ...

Couples Retreat (and everyone else too)

The epitome of the very prevalent category of "dramedy" emerging (targeting the chick flick crowd, I'd imagine? Though I'd prefer the laughs over the heartache and formulaic execution!). It wasn't awful, it wasn't fantastic, it wasn't well, much of any emotion I could really pull from because it tried too hard to be a little bit of everything and that's where it ultimately failed.

The story revolves around four couples (Vince Vaughn paired with Malin Akerman, Jason Bateman paired with Kristen Bell, Jon Favreau paired with Kristin Davis, and Faizon Love paired with, well - see it if you must and find out). Each couple has a unique set of problems ranging from day-to-day child rearing, home projects, the inability to conceive, infidelity, a loveless marriage, and a pending divorce. When given the opportunity to retreat to a couples resort (and promised they will only have to endure a "little couples counseling sprinkled in"), they all jump at the chance to escape their jobs, and ultimately their mundane lives for a little fun in Bora, Bora.

As the simple storyline progresses, nothing seems to pick up -- even packed with bona fide stars and seemingly perfect set-ups for hilarity and frivolous fun. Unfortunately, it's light on laughter and or any real resolution, and too heavy handed. It suffers by taking itself too seriously, and feels like taking a trip to the marriage counselor with an unhappy couple -- or four! (Yeah, not my idea of fun either.) Perhaps had they removed a couple or two and focused on the script (more interesting and far-funnier than the few one-liners that came only when you were thinking "is this a comedy ... oh, there's a joke!") it would have succeeded.

Brilliant idea, poor execution.

*Fun Trivia: Peter Billingsley, Ralphie from a Christmas Story directed this! Hopefully he takes on a better project in the future.*

The Trump Card

"In my book, The Trump Card, published by Touchstone Books/Simon & Schuster, I try to impart to readers that 'We've all been dealt a winning hand and it is up to each of us to play it right and smart.'"
Ivanka Trump (The Donald's daughter)

Born October 30, 1981 to former Olympic alternate (Czech ski team), model and socialite Ivana Trump and billionaire, real-estate mogul, socialite, author and television personality, Donald Trump.

She is an heiress to the Trump fortune (billions), both in part to her father's and her mother's.

Recently engaged to the owner of the NY Observer, with a SIX-carat engagement ring. (Raise your hand if you could retire on investing that ring alone??)

At 27, she is Executive vice-president of the The Trump Organization [2009].

I don't think any more statastics are needed to make my point. Her cards are not the same as ... my cards, for instance. In her defense, I'm not calling her on the same level as Paris Hilton - nowhere near in fact - but I think she may want to reexamine different walks of life before she makes such a rash comment. In the statement itself, she mentions her book deal! What 27 year olds with no real writing experience are getting published, and quoted before the book release? *Laughter ensues ....*

To be fair, I read another article where she held her own. In this article, she also admits to the nepotism that got her in the door -- it's who you know, marketing, and with her, the name! If I decided to go out and pursue the same dreams ... do you think ABC would do a news story on me? Or that people would seek out my jewelry boutique? I doubt it.

The Narcissist Test

Obama's Premature Awardation

Two key White House aides were both convinced they were being punked when they heard the news, (as reported ABC News' George Stephanopoulos) - with one responding:

"It's not April 1, is it?"

To put in perspective just how embarrassingly premature this award is:

In 1906, Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th U.S. President was the first sitting president to win the Nobel Peace Prize for his role in ending the bloody 1905 war between two of the world's great powers, Japan and Russia. The result was the Treaty of Portsmouth signed by Russia and Japan on Sept. 5, 1905, at Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

Woodrow Wilson was the second sitting President to win the Nobel Peace Prize award in 1919 in recognition of his Fourteen Points Program and work in achieving inclusion of the Covenant of the League of Nations in the 1919 Treaty of Versailles at the end of World War I. He created a structure that's still being used in present day international politics.

Jimmy Carter did win - but not as a sitting President. He won for what the Nobel prize committee said were "his decades of untiring effort to find peaceful solutions to international conflicts, to advance democracy and human rights, and to promote economic and social development".

For those not yet aware, Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize: "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." Have the applicants become so unspectacular and dull that Teddy Roosevelt ENDS A WAR, Wilson compiles a program for international relations that's still in place today (9 decades later) , and Jimmy Carter devotes his retired life to community service ... but Barack Obama simply takes office and they award him for being cooperative?

It's no secret I'm not a fan. Maybe now that he's been awarded something so prestigious, he'll finally step up. Saturday Night Live said it best:

President Obama reacted to his Nobel Peace Prize saying he accepted the award as "a call to action" ... That's great - just as a reminder, that's what the election was too.
~Seth Meyers

If you object, sign the petition (published in the NY Times online): http://nobelpeace.eu/

Whip It: Be Your Own Hero

** Thursday, October 8th, 2009 **
**Member Review of the Day on RottenTomatoes.com!**
(I made the Homepage!)

Based on former Roller Derby skater Shauna Cross' experiences with the Los Angeles Derby Dolls, Whip It is a one part coming-of-age story/two parts fresh indie-style comedy and all fun! The film marks Drew Barrymore's feature film directorial debut, and what better way to start off directing than with an action-packed sports film, 80's nostalgia, finding yourself, the current indie 'It' girl and some famous faces?

Ellen Page begins the movie as Bliss Cavendar, the glasses-clad doe-eyed small town Texan gal lusting after the bustling metropolis just seemingly beyond her grasp. After perhaps one too many failed attempts being forced into participating in beauty pageants thanks to her overbearing mother (played by Marcia Gay Harden), an innocent shopping trip in Austin introduces her to Roller Derby world - via flyer. Worried that she may actually end up in the Southern throwback world of big hair, ironing boards and answering the questions she'd rather live out -- she grabs her best friend Pash (Arrested Development's Alia Shawkat) and they sneak off to Austin to see the Derby's Exhibition night. Impassioned by the derby girls, and invited to try out - she begins her journey as Babe Ruthless, the newest and fastest jammer on the block. If you don't know anything about Roller Derby - it's fine - you take the journey with Bliss as she learns the who, what, when, where and why of the game, the people and the life of a Derby Doll.

The film follows a fairly straightforward path of most sports movies (and that is my only complaint) - it leads up to the 'big event', the character has strife and is left to her own devices - but it makes up for it in comedy and heart. Though there are rules and it is a sport, they don't dwell too long on that - instead opting for the action, showing that women are all badasses ... in fishnets!

Author Cross skated under the name of Maggie Mayhem -- who is played by Kristen Wiig in one of her most prominent roles to date. She is fantastic as she takes Bliss under her wing without losing any edge. Juliette Lewis pulled out her rockstar roots (check out Juliette and the Licks) as Iron Maven - the resident bad girl who wears her bruised self inside out. Drew Barrymore's Smashley Simpson is a bit of a space cadet who laughs, gets confused a bit too easily and is ultra rough and competative -- both in the rink and out. The Manson Sisters were played by Rachel Piplica and Kristen Adolfi - better known as the real-life Iron Maiven and Krissy Krash of the Los Angeles Derby Dolls. They skated for the film's Hurl Scouts and in real life skate for the Tough Cookies, the team on which the Scouts were based.

Mars in Retrograde - Have you Noticed?

All kinds of things have been going wrong lately, not just in my life but those all around me. In the last few weeks -- myself, friends and family -- have experienced a series of unfortunate events. There have been everything from breakups, to broken fingers that just won't heal, a diagnosis of serious illness, the flu, the loss of health coverage (unexpectedly), to marital troubles (more than norm), strange behaviors, even multiple broken electronic items (that were 'fine' and all of a sudden not), and more!

I was talking it over with my 'teacher' roommate and she half-jokingly said "I had a mom tell me that her 'life coach' said that mars was in retrograde - hence her child's horrific behavior." (Brilliant! I'm using that one in the future!)

Not really knowing what that meant - I turned to trusty google and found out that "it means mars will appear to move backward through the sky as it moves closer to Earth."

Still confused? That's ok - even the ancient Greeks weren't very clear on the idea until 1543 when the term retrograde motion came into play. They proposed this explanation: that planets move in small circles (epicycles) while they traveled the Earth; however, this didn't match the observed behavior of the planets. Copernicus, though, unraveled the mystery by putting the Sun, instead of the Earth, at the center of the solar system. The backward motion, it is now known, is simply an optical illusion. Because both Earth and Mars are traveling in the same direction, but Mars is moving more slowly, Mars appears to move backward in relation to Earth.

Does this scientifically happen? Yes. Does this cause irrational action; introspection; depression and self-assessment; sexual issues and relationship conflicts? Perhaps. I'm not opposed to the notion that there are things at play beyond our tangible universe; however, I don't think blaming the universe will help you.

So what does Mars in Retrograde "supposedly" mean for us?

Supposedly computers, communications, technical stuff all goes haywire.

Things that were started in the past or that was not finished will be re-visited, and old friends may pop up.

It's not a good time to make major decisions or sign contracts or make big purchases.

"Mars endows powerful energy and an indomitable will to succeed, but when poorly placed can mean accidents, injuries, anger, rage, warfare or other forms of violence, according to the inclinations of the sign and house concerned."

I admit, I read my horoscope from time-to-time for fun - a laugh, if you will. (Mostly while passing the time at a doctor's office or the salon. I find it more interesting to read the previous day/week/month's to see if it were true, rather than read my horoscope and have it act as a self-fulfilling prophecy. I was prompted to head to the astrology sites to find the answers from my conversation with my roommate -- and am still not certain I really 'believe' in it. It could be the change in the seasons, people adjusting to the economy and cutbacks, or even just general coincidence. But, if there is anything to this ...

Mars, can you just get back in line? I'd really appreciate it!!

(If you were wondering, Astrologers predict/say it won't be leaving for quite some time.)

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

I've seen this movie more times than I'd should ever admit to, but I've never reviewed it. I'd go so far as to call this barely-outta-the-gate flick a "cult classic" for the newer generations (in the same league as Knocked Up, Talladega Nights & Stepbrothers). The title aptly captures what the main character Peter Bretter (Jason Segel) is seeking to do throughout the film: forget his ex-girlfriend, Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell).

After a humiliating -- and hilarious -- break-up, Peter weeps, bemoans and holes up in his house. He decides to take a break from moping and his job as a composer of "dull and ominous tones" for a cheesy CSI-style crime show that Sarah just happens to be the star of. Unfortunately for the likable Peter, the suggestion of a vacation to Oahu, Hawaii (by step-brother Brian played by SNL breakout Bill Hader) happens to be the same place quintessential bitchy ex, Sarah and her new beau, the perverse English rocker, Aldous Snow are staying. Lucky for Peter, a compassionate hotel clerk, Rachel (Mila Kunis), decides to look out for him -- comping his room, inviting him to the local Luau, and forging a real connection with the lost soul that is Peter.

The movie's not nearly as sad as one would think - nor does it lose heart by making light of real emotion. The interaction between writer/star Jason Segel and Bill Hader is priceless (mostly via webcam), and the script is well-written. Aldous seems to have been specifically written for the eccentric and strange comic, Russell Brand. This introduced him to American audiences -- and how! The obvious comedy comes from continual bumping into his ex with her new man, and his constant reminder that he's at a romantic resort .... alone! Great cameo's by Paul Rudd, Jonah Hill, William Baldwin, Jason Bateman, and my favorites --- Jack McBrayer/Maria Thayer as the typical young, religious newlyweds on their honeymoon having difficulty navigating a little more than the island!

Do yourself a favor and rent the unrated version for the extra raunch, and a few extra scenes.

Banned Books?

There, where one burn books, one in the end burns men. ~ Heinrich Heine

Map of Censored Books

Be sure to click on the tabs for individual explanations of each banning.

This map is absolutely FASCINATING to me. By fascinating, I mean - ridiculous. If the child can read it, let them. If they don't comprehend it, or understand it, discuss it with them!

Each year, the ALA's Office for Intellectual Freedom records hundreds of attempts by individuals and groups to have books removed from libraries shelves and from classrooms. At least 42 of the Radcliffe Publishing Course Top 100 Novels of the 20th Century have been the target of ban attempts.



Here are some of the books on the list that I have read, and when:

1. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgeral -- Jr High
2. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger -- High School
3. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck -- High School
4. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee -- Jr High
5. The Color Purple by Alice Walker -- Jr High
6. Ulysses by James Joyce -- High School
7. Beloved by Toni Morrison -- High School
8. The Lord of the Flies by William Golding -- Elementary School
9. 1984 by George Orwell -- Jr High
10. The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
11. Lolita by Vladmir Nabokov -- College, or Later
12. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck -- High School
13. Charlotte's Web by E. B. White -- Elementary School
14. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce -- College, or Later
15. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller -- High School
16. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley -- High School
17. Animal Farm by George Orwell -- Elementary School
18. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
19. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner -- High School
20. A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway -- College, or Later
21. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
22. Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne -- Elementary School
23. Their Eyes are Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
24. Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
25. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
26. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell -- Jr High
27. Native Son by Richard Wright
28. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey -- Jr High
29. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut -- Jr High
30. For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway -- High School
31. On the Road by Jack Kerouac -- Jr High
32. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway -- Jr High
33. The Call of the Wild by Jack London -- High School
34. To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf
35. Portrait of a Lady by Henry James -- College, or Later
36. Go Tell it on the Mountain by James Baldwin
37. The World According to Garp by John Irving
38. All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren
39. A Room with a View by E. M. Forster
40. The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien -- Elementary School
41. Schindler's List by Thomas Keneally
42. The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton
43. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand -- Jr High
44. Finnegans Wake by James Joyce
45. The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
46. Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
47. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum -- Jr High
48. Lady Chatterley's Lover by D. H. Lawrence
49. A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess -- High School
50. The Awakening by Kate Chopin
51. My Antonia by Willa Cather
52. Howards End by E. M. Forster
53. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
54. Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger
55. The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie
56. Jazz by Toni Morrison
57. Sophie's Choice by William Styron
58. Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner
59. A Passage to India by E. M. Forster
60. Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton
61. A Good Man Is Hard to Find by Flannery O'Connor
62. Tender Is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald -- High School
63. Orlando by Virginia Woolf
64. Sons and Lovers by D. H. Lawrence
65. Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe
66. Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut
67. A Separate Peace by John Knowles
68. Light in August by William Faulkner
69. The Wings of the Dove by Henry James
70. Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
71. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier -- College, or Later
72. A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams -- College, or Later
73. Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs -- College, or Later
74. Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
75. Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
76. Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe
77. In Our Time by Ernest Hemingway -- College, or Later
78. The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein
79. The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett -- College, or Later
80. The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
81. Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys
82. White Noise by Don DeLillo
83. O Pioneers! by Willa Cather
84. Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
85. The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells -- College, or Later
86. Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad
87. The Bostonians by Henry James
88. An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
89. Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather
90. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
91. This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
92. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
93. The French Lieutenant's Woman by John Fowles
94. Babbitt by Sinclair Lewis
95. Kim by Rudyard Kipling
96. The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald
97. Rabbit, Run by John Updike
98. Where Angels Fear to Tread by E. M. Forster
99. Main Street by Sinclair Lewis
100. Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie

How many have you read?

I'm sure I've read more; and, even out of the list above, I chose to read many of the books on my own. Some of the books I read in elementary school on my own were later given as assignments in junior high or high school. And some of the books I read in college were never assigned ... which leads me to wonder if they were banned, challenged or simply never even attempted to be assigned? The map points out - 70 to 80% of banned or challenged books are never even reported! Yes, I put an exclamation on that - we're approaching the second decade of the twenty-first century and people still want to hide words on a page!!!! With "reality" tv (complete with scripts), and just about everything else exposed on tv ... and people are afraid of some words on a page?

Two words: grow up.

I Heart Zombieland.

I liked Shaun of the Dead ... I LOVED Zombieland. Perhaps it's the idea of surviving the zombie apocalypse on my turf (the good old US of A) or the rag-tag cast of characters?


The horror comedy genre is quickly becoming my favorite with fresh, innovative scripts, career revivals and upstarts. Woody Harrelson and Emma Stone breath life into this zom-com with the skill only natural delivery can provide. Zombieland focuses on Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson's character's who have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus (Eisenberg) is - in a word - a wuss, afraid of his own shadow. His set of "Rules for Surviving Zombieland" is what - he feels - keeps him alive. Tallahassee (Harrelson) is an gun/shovel/banjo/bat-toting, zombie-slaying' hard ass whose single goal in life (sadly) is to find a Twinkie. They unwittingly join forces with Wichita (Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), two sisters that have used their special set of skills to survive the plague.

Zombieland has what the original Scream had - a set of rules that it abides by, constantly dancing around the rules, and changing it up. It has cameo's, and unexpected funny/gory parts. It makes you jump, even when you know it's coming -- and it makes you route for the good - or bad - characters, because sometimes, they seem like one and the same! Go see it on the big screen and take a break from reality - it's totally worth the admission fee!

but before I go ...

"The grass is not, in fact, always greener on the other side of the fence. Not at all. Fences have nothing to do with it. The grass is greenest where it is watered. When crossing over fences, carry water with you and tend the grass wherever you may be."

Robert Fulghum
It was On Fire When I Lay Down on It
Ivy Books, 1989

The Holy Grail of the Unconscious

Whether or not you've heard of him, Carl Jung has most likely somehow been a part of your life in one way or another. Have you ever taken a Myers-Briggs Indicator (MBTI) test for work/fun or when applying for a job? Have you/someone you know taken part in a 12-step program? Do you know what an introvert or extrovert is? These were all contributions that can be directly tied back to Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung.

Jung has had an enduring influence not only on psychology, but also on society as a whole. He founded a new school of psychotherapy, called analytical psychology or Jungian psychology. This included: the concepts of introversion and extraversion. The concept of the complex. The concept of Collective Unconscious, which is shared by all people. As mentioned before, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

Even more interesting about him is: he lost it. And when I say lost - he had a complete psychotic break, even diagnosing himself later as 'schizophrenic'. He had vistions and heard voices. Though treatments at the time were vastly different. It was nuthouse - or no nuthouse, ignore thoughts OR don't ignore thoughts. During this period, he detailed his 'break' into small journals -- the good, the bad, and the ugly in a book/diary/experiment of sorts. In 1914, Jung began to transcribe his notes into a large red leather-bound book, which he worked on, on and off, for sixteen years. The Red Book.

When he died, Jung left no instructions for his book. His family eventually moved it to a bank vault in 1984. Sonu Shamdasani, a historian from London, for three years tried to convince Jung's heirs to publish it—they generally said no to every hint of an inquiry about it, and as of 2009 only about two dozen people had seen it. But Ulrich Hoerni, Jung's grandson who manages the Jung archives, decided to publish it. When money ran low, the Philemon Foundation was founded and raised more.

(click on the picture to zoom)

In 2007, two technicians for DigitalFusion, working with the publisher, W. W. Norton & Company, painstakingly scanned one-tenth of a millimeter at a time with a 10,200-pixel scanner. It will be published in German with "separate English translation along with Shamdasani's introduction and footnotes" at the back of the book, according to Sara Corbett for The New York Times. She wrote, "The book is bombastic, baroque and like so much else about Carl Jung, a willful oddity, synched with an antediluvian and mystical reality."

The Rubin Museum of Art in New York City will display the original and Jung's original small journals from October 7, 2009 to January 25, 2010. According to them, "During the period in which he worked on this book Jung developed his principal theories of archetypes, collective unconscious, and the process of individuation." Two-thirds of the pages bear Jung's beautiful illuminations of the text.

To learn more about the book and the people behind it's release (100 years overdue!); or, just to read a fascinating article in the NY Times about Jung and his Red Book, follow the link below.

Amazon has the book releasing on December 4th available for preorder now. It features the complete facsimile (German) with English translations.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/magazine/20jung-t.html

Did he get a bonus for this?

"Looks like the recession ended in June."
Wells Fargo Securities L.L.C. economic analyst Tim Quinlan

I think someone should let Tim know people with Bachelor's and Master's degrees are working job's you don't even need a high school diploma for ... if they can even find work doing that. While they are drowning in debt from their education, he's probably feasting on surf & turf paid by his last bonus ...

I'm a little bit horror, I'm a little bit co-me-dy!

Diablo Cody's singing a different tune in her follow-up script to the Oscar-winning, Juno. Jennifer's Body dives into the "horror" genre; though, I would consider it more dark humor or satire with some light horror mixed in. Vampiress-tween beast Jennifer is played by Megan Fox in her best role to date. She wreaks havoc on the small town of Devil's Kettle - with an appetite for teenage boys. Only her best friend knows the truth - played by Mamma Mia's Amanda Seyfreid. The dialogue is fantastic (as we've come to expect from Ms. Cody), but the story is strange and unfocused. Also - I was expecting a little more gore from an R-rated horror movie.

Thankfully, the movie doesn't take itself too seriously; in fact, it keeps you interested with it's switch from horrifying bloody scenes to light and witty banter between the main characters. That's where the movie does work: the two main characters are worthy of screen time and the words they spew. Despite the title role, and being Hollywood's current glam-girl, this movie is not Fox's vehicle - it was Seyfreid's as "Needy". In fact, we follow Needy through the film as she is horrified over and over by Jennifer. Her concerned, geeky but gorgeous character let's the quirky actress shine. This movie isn't the horror flick some had hoped, but I don't think the trailer misleads in that respect.

Stop reading this and go see it.

All About Steve

Last weekend, I decided to go to a movie (uncharacteristically) by myself. I went to the gym, picked a late lunch and decided to see a movie that I already knew was panned by every critic and most people that have seen it: All About Steve.

Socially inept Mary latches onto Steve and stalks him cross-country as his job carries him from news report to weather catastrophe as a CCN cameraman. Barely having had a first date, clueless Steve can't seem to shake Mary's advances --- nor does it help that his overly 'helpful' wingman Hartman (Thomas Haden Church) mean-spiritedly continues to keep Mary's fire burning for Steve.

As I said, I was hesitant to see this movie but I'm a fan of Bradley Cooper from his Alias days and I generally find Sandra Bullock witty and charming. I loved her role as the insanely smart outcast. Cooper and friends (Thomas Haden Church and Ken Jeong) were funny, though unbelieveable -- but aren't most comedies fantasies to escape into? The heart of the movie is Bullock's wacky character and the characters that bring out her peculiarities: DJ Qualls & Katy Mixon. I enjoyed this farce -- I'd give it 3.5/5 stars and watch it again as a rental or purchase. It's smart, silly, and fun to watch without the contrived ending we've all come to expect.

Swayze Was Set to Cameo in Zombieland!

By Perri Nemiroff: 2009-09-18 21:58:09

The stars of Zombieland are clearly Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin, but the film features a mystery actor in a very prominent cameo role. That role initially belonged to the late Patrick Swayze.

Co-writer Rhett Reese said, “That was many years ago, before he got sick. It was [going to be] a Patrick Swayze zombie. They got attacked by him zombified and we had these wonderful moments where they found a potter's wheel and there's Columbus on the wheel and these other hands come up behind him and it's Patrick Swayze the zombie. Ultimately, they fight and Patrick bull rushes Tallahassee who grabs him and lifts him into the air, a la Jennifer Grey, and smashes him into a pillar.”

When Swayze backed out of the film Reese and co-writer Paul Wernick had to look into other options. They considered Sylvester Stallone, Joe Pesci, Mark Hammill, The Rock, Kevin Bacon, Jean Claude Van Damme and Matthew McConaughey, but none worked out. While it’s disappointing to hear that Swayze is not in the film, you’ll be very pleased with the man they nabbed to make that cameo. Find out when Zombieland hits theaters on October 2nd.

"Look at the baby."

There's my wife. See that? Always smiling? Hi, honey.
Judging, watching, "Look at the baby."
Vince Vaughn, Old School

I'm probably gonna go to hell for writing this blog, or at least friend hell. Though, lately - I feel like I'm already there (with some people, don't go hating on me if you fall into the married or w/child and/or pregnant categories!). I can't go anywhere without people asking me about marriage or babies or something along those lines. Or telling me about theirs. There are no other subjects or things that are interesting to anyone anymore. Well, apparently that gene skipped me. Attention all: I don't want any kids. There, it's been announced, stated, shared, blogged, etc.

I go to family reunions and am, ironically, banished to the 'kid' table. I am invited to weddings ... and all but ignored since I don't want to have one, so apparently - there is nothing for me to contribute. I try to get into all of it, but when there is nothing BUT it - what do you do?

I heard once "friendship is an involuntary reflex," so when did everything become so difficult? I have to chase some friends down, and no one wants to come to my house anymore -- it's always about me coming to them. Apparently the reflex is only if I make the effort?

I'm gonna chalk this one up to growing pains, or a shifting of priorities. By no means do I want to abandon my friends - I guess I'm just looking for someone to come to 'the dark side' where the childless and unmarried hang out. Ya know, where you used to?

Relationship w/food & Mistakes

I heard this the other day:

"How we feel in her bodies affects how we perceive the world around us."

How true is this?? When we feel fat or old or tired, we stay home, feel introverted and feel less motivated. In contrast, when we feel fit or young or full of energy, we usually feel so invigorated that we make more plans and become an extrovert.

I used to be in weight watchers, and it was decent for learning how to portion your food. I felt my knowledge of nutrition had moved past what they taught me and stopped going, but a few of the lessons from the leaders stuck with me. One was - whether you lose or gain, you are still the same person. You shouldn't hate yourself for a bad week, you should learn from it. People have relationships with food whether they want to believe it or not. Some turn it into a control thing - whether it be I can eat as much as I want or I can eat as little as I want. Sometimes it's a feelings thing - literally, you eat your feelings. (Which, as we all know, doesn't do anything.) And sadly, sometimes it's a boredom thing - literally a few minutes with nothing to occupy your time ... and then "hey, how did this twinkie get into my hand?" For the food 'enlightened' - 75-85% of the time, you should be looking at your food as fuel.

I really detest the word diet only because it's become synonymous with deprivation and goals that have an end-date. (If you modify your behavior to get a better result, you have to continue that behavior to maintain it, not go back to your previous behaviors once you reach it!) How many people do you know associate dieting with NOT having something or constantly yo-yo unhappily? A healthier alternative to the dieting seesaw game is to change your vocabulary. Instead of dieting, change your lifestyle! And if you do still 'diet' - consider each change you make as a long-term change.

Some tips?

1. When you decide to eat healthy, diet, or change your lifestyle - remember it's YOUR decision. Don't focus on deprivation or foods you can't eat. It's only going to make you feel like you want to do what you can't do.
2. Do not take the easy route to feeding your emotions -- to your pantry/nearest fast food joint/desk drawer. You have to learn the difference between a hunger feeling and an anxiety feeling -- for some people, they are the same!
3. If you go to a restaurant for a meal and it's replacing a meal you would otherwise eat at home -- choose a simple fuel-dish (chicken & rice, salad w/lean protein, etc) instead of a "cheat" meal ... which is the next point ...
4. Plan your cheat meals ahead of time.
5. Learn when you are hungry. Ideally, you should eat every few hours and add some protein to every meal.

For a quick reference if you have a healthy relationship with food - try this quiz:
Healthy Relationship with Food?

Be aware of what you eat. The simplest way to do this would be - prepare your own food. If you are at a restaurant - be that guy and change up what's on the menu by asking to remove sauces (or have them on the side), etc.

Conscious eating requires commitment and awareness. And back to my original point. Learn from your mistakes! And remember - everyone makes them. We're human! Why do you think they make so many types of erasers?

create the illusion

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”
Orson Welles

To Blackberry or not to Crackberry ...

... that is the question. Recently, I took stock in just how many of my friends were updating their facebook statuses 'via blackberry'. Over half of the posts on my main page were from 'blackberry' posters. And I noticed at least 4 people recently chose the Blackberry as their phone-of-choice when upgrading their phones ... despite claiming financial situations otherwise. This led to a few discussions with blackberry owners - mainly: why do you feel you need a crackberry?

Most answers range from work, to scheduling of daily tasks, to quicker responsiveness (with the inability to sit at a computer). Two recent blackberry converts -- my boyfriend and a co-worker -- are always on the go and need to respond to emails quickly for their jobs. I'd agree that they have a good reason to own one, but most of the rest of the owners .... I'm at a loss.

The fact that the people working at mobile stores (verizon, AT&T, etc) have blackberries is a bit ridiculous - other than needing to know how it works, what reason do they have to actually own a $550 phone? And how about the people that sit at a computer all day ... and own one? For what reason do you need a computer in your pocket, and a computer in front of you? Or people complaining about their financial situations ... while they tap tap tap away on their crackberries? No one sees the irony in this? Get the free phone, sell your blackberry on ebay. Bam! At worst - you have half a mortgage payment & you'd save yourself the blackberry data plan every month. If you lose or damage your phone - you could be without a phone or have to pay over twice as much to replace it!

Now, it may seem like I am - but I am NOT judging - I'd prob get one if they weren't as expensive as they are, and I thought my job merited it. For those that actually use them for work - here are some stats:

96% the pilot users stated the device significantly improved their business effectiveness.
83% of users stated the mobile service improved their responsiveness and customer service.
44% direct revenue gains as a result of their increased responsiveness.

According to a recent study by consulting firm AT Kearney, having secure, around-the-clock access to corporate data can increase employee productivity as much as 30%. Wirelessly enabling enterprise applications boosts profitability through reduced cycle times, increased asset utilisation and increased service levels.

I don't feel that I need to be more reachable than my already unlimited text messages and ridiculous amount of minutes a month. I just think everyone been watching a bit too much Entourage or E! news and wants to be a celebrity ( at least feel like one) and what better way than to get the same phone? Only, we don't have that much to schedule, that many people to talk to, or that many people to keep track of! It's just a fact.

Blackberries - even worse than cell phones - turn us into little islands. Isolated islands looking for the next best thing. In the very beginning of "About a Boy," Hugh Grant's character says "All men are islands. And what's more, this is the time to be one. This is an island age. A hundred years ago, for example, you had to depend on other people. No one had TV or CDs or DVDs or home espresso makers. As a matter of fact they didn't have anything cool. Whereas now you can make yourself a little island paradise." The blackberry is the ultimate in island tools! Say you go to a bar, sit with friends, but text or SMS others that aren't there. Check your facebook or twitter, or look up movie times, cause the bar may not be exciting enough for you. Or look up anything on google! The sky is the limit!

I'm not degrading the blackberry - it's a useful tool in the right hands. I'm just wondering why, in this day and age, people without jobs pay for the blackberry phone and data plan -- without batting an eye? When did it become some necessary for us to be so available to one another? When did cell phones with the capacity to go online become a necessity? If you've read this far, I think you've gathered the point: it's not a necessity. It's a want and a pretty silly one at that. If you're not using it for work, you're just wasting your money.